Pilgrimages of Life

Vocation and Human Sexuality has taught me more than facts and what the Church's stance on subjects such as birth control or love. This class has helped me explore where I fit into the contemporary views of love. This class was especially fitting as I transition to college, where I will meet people with different backgrounds and values from my own. With this class I have learned who I am and helped mold my beliefs. More importantly, I have learned not to compromise these values just because they may differ from what other people believe or what is more commonly practiced. With this class, we have explored a range of topics that are relevant to teenagers. We discussed vocation, something we all hope to find as we make our way to college. As a class, we talked openly about our views and learned from one another. I remember when we all shared our "love stories" and we discussed how we admired them. We learned about the different types of love ranging from affectionate to attraction to self-less love. I realized that someday I hope to have a self-less love and that I am worth more than the eros that is so commonly emphasized today. Overall, I feel that this class was more than just a theology requirement, but that it was an opportunity to set me on the track to find my vocation. I loved our class's open discussions and supportiveness.

Some Say Love. . .

The qualities and characteristics of love I seek to experience in my future relationships are honesty, supportiveness, companionship, acceptance, and kindness. I hope to have a patient loving relationships, where we feel comfortable communicating with one another. I think a successful, loving relationship means that each person needs to be selfless at times and supportive of the other. No person or relationship is perfect and it should not come easily. I hope to find a love worth fighting for through all our arguments and rough times. These qualities are often portrayed in songs. An example of this is in Adele’s latest song “Skyfall” in which she states “we will stand tall and face it all together.” Another representation of this is in Beyoncé’s song “Countdown” in which she states, “There's ups and downs in this love/ Got a lot to learn in this love/ Through the good and the bad, still got love/Dedicated to the one I love.” In these lines Beyoncé explains that although their love is not perfect, they still work through the good and bad and remain dedicated and supportive. The lines “loving you is some kind of wonderful because you’ve shown me just how much you care” in Natalie Cole’s song, “This will be and Everlasting love” expresses the caring love needed in a relationship. The companionship and support I seek in love are best described in Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love” when she says ‘When the rain/ Is blowing in your face/ And the whole world/ Is on your case/ I could offer you/ A warm embrace/ To make you feel my love.” I also hope to find someone who accepts me the way I am and does not expect me to be perfect. I do not expect my future relationships to be perfect because no one is perfect. In the song “Just What I Needed” by the cars, the singer explains that does not care if his girlfriend is not perfect and talks in her sleep, he still loves her and accepts her and is “just what he needed.” I personally do not buy into the “soulmate” idea, but I think people have different definitions of what a soulmate is. Similar to the article, I do not think that it is realistic for people to believe that they will find the perfect “Mr. or Ms. Right.” No one is perfect, so no relationship can be perfect. If people go into marriage expecting their spouse to always be perfect and constantly get along with them, then they are being unrealistic. I do believe that their are people out there who you may be more compatible with, but I completely reject the notion of having a one true soulmate. Much like relationships one has with his or her parents and friends, marriage has its ups and downs and need work at times.

The Changing Face of Marriage

I have certainly experienced the “domestic church.” From a young age, my parents took me to Church and explained their faith to me. They not only explained the virtues of our faith, but helped me carry them out by telling me right from wrong and encouraging me to uphold certain values. I have seen many different representations of the composition of marriage and family in my life and in television. The structure and composition of marriage has changed over the years. In my community the structure has not changed significantly. Most married couples that I know are traditional. However, I do know many couples who have divorced. Since, for example, when my mom was my age, more married couples are getting married later and there are more divorced couples. In television and movies, marriage is seen more casually. Reality shows like the Kardashians give the example of couples marrying for only a matter of days. Television shows make divorce seem almost inevitable and characters often go from spouse to spouse or refuse to commit. However, this changing structure of marriage is not all bad. Many couples are waiting to marry, ensuring that they are ready. Also, in many cases, both couples work, making financial problems less of an issue. However, it can also cause stress if both spouses are constantly busy. In the article, the author explains that college educated couples are less likely to divorce. As a student preparing to go to college, this is a good thing. Hopefully, if I meet someone who I want to marry, we will be able to work through any problems we have, wether they are financial or emotional. However, I can never be sure. Although college educated couples are less likely to divorce, many still do and divorce rates seem to grow more and more each year. If I do marry, I would definitely try my best to work through any problems and I realize that divorce should be the last resort in a way. I I am married, I would try to provide a “domestic church” like my parents did for me. The “domestic church” that my parents provided me with has help support and raise me in my faith. By doing this, my parents guided me throughout my adolescent life and taught me important values. Because I received this wonderful support and guidance, I feel responsible to carry the “domestic church” into my home in the future.

Marriage and Vatican II

In Vatican II, the Council’s discussion of marriage formed the “Constitution on the Church in the Modern World.” In their discussion, the Vatican II Counsel explained that marriage is a “vocation” and emphasized the high-esteem for marriage and families. This nobility of marriage and the family should be fostered. Marriage is a sign of Christ’s love for the Church and the Church encourages committed marriages. They believe that committed marriages are need in society as a positive example. The constitution encourages family trained priests to “nurture the vocation of spouses by a variety of pastoral means.” The constitution continues by saying a couple should “grow and ripen” and defines marriage as being “caught up into divine love and is governed and enriched by Christ’s redeeming power and the saving activity of the church.” They include that a married couple must fulfill their marital and family duties and when they do so they are “penetrated with the spirit of Christ.” This marital love will bolster their roles as parents. Although these teachings are still necessary today, many people do not respect them today. Divorce is more and more common and marriage is distorted by media. Celebrities set negative examples by staying married for only weeks at a time. These examples tarnish the idea of marriage being a vocation and a blessing. People today often ignore marriage all together and move in together without making a commitment to each other. If couples do not make this commitment and have children, then they may have difficulties fulfilling their parental duties. Without marriage, a couple will eventually struggle to “grow and ripen.”

Dating: What's the Point

I do not think that dating is necessarily practice for divorce, but the “hook-up culture” is. Relationships can be a positive experience that teaches you compromise and helps you learn what type of person you work well with. As Freitas and King say, dating is important because it involves caring for another person in a deeper way than friendship might. I agree, dating can teach you positive skills that you can use when married. Many of my peers are in relationships or in the “hook-up culture.” Often at my age, my peers may simply be in a dating relationship for social status, which is a negative. However, sometimes they are dating because they genuinely like each other, which is positive so long as they have appropriate vulnerability with one another. The hook-up culture is setting both sexes up for failure in regards to marriage and relationships. The hook up culture almost always confuses and hurts those involved. “Hooking up” does not teach people how to care for one another or show appropriate vulnerability, in fact it shows them two extremes. By “hooking up” they are inappropriately vulnerable in a physical way because they do not really know or respect one another. They are emotionally unattached by “not caring” if they date or even talk to one another after hooking up. This may be alright with those involved in the short term, but once one wants to settle down, he or she may not be able to.

Gender and Dating Relationships

I think that this article presented a good points regarding marriage. Often couples can be overly concerned with the superficial aspects of their relationship, such as proposals and weddings. The author emphasizes that many women have high expectations about proposals and weddings that are superficial and unrealistic. He also discussed how many women expect men to propose before even talking about marriage with one another and expect to be surprised when proposed to. I agree that a couple should discuss and reflect upon whether they are ready or in love enough to be married. However, I do not believe that all the "traditional proposals" the author discussed are ridiculous and outdated. I don't think that having a "traditional proposal" means that a couple is superficial or not serious about their love. I agree that maybe some may put all their energy on the proposal or wedding and not really consider if they are compatible with their partner or if they are ready for a lifelong commitment. I believe that every couple is different and if a woman wants to propose or keep her last name then that is her decision. I also agree that women should expect some elaborate proposal, but I also don't think that there is any harm in a man proposing in a traditional way.In my parents' love story, my dad proposed in a "traditional way" and my parents planned their wedding like most couples. My mom was not completely expecting the proposal, but she knew that my dad was the only one for her. This perhaps traditional love story may seem cliché, but it is one that suited my parents. I believe every couple has different approaches to love, engagements, and marriage. No one way is right so long as the couple truly loves one another and has reflected about their commitment rather than focus on certain exciting events in their relationship.

Wonderful Gift and Awesome Responsibility

The Catholic Church explains that we are given a universal vocation to love and be loved and that sexuality is a part our personality. Through sexuality we "experience our relatedness to self, others, the world and even God." Sexuality is gift that we should treasure and respect. The Church also explains that sexuality is an awesome responsibility entrusted to the steward and can be a challenge seeing as there is potential for misuse. Sexuality has many dimensions including physical, emotional, and spiritual. St. Paul says that True love is patient and kind, not self-seeking. The Church says that chastity, but not suppression of sexual feelings, is the most effective way to remain responsible and appropriate. The Church says that sex is an action with both unitive and procreative dimensions. Sex is both an extension of marriage and biologically used to procreate within marriage. Outside of marriage bishops conclude that sex is morally wrong. Although the Church recognizes the challenges a single person may have regarding chastity,the Church believes that sex should only be within marriage. The Church also believes that, while homosexuals can not chose their orientation, they should not have intercourse. I struggle to understand why the Church accepts that some people have a homosexual orientation, but condemn them acting upon their orientation. However, I believe it is good that the church talks openly about the positive attributes of having sex within marriage rather than condemn sexuality all together or depicting it as dirty.

Mission Statement

I will be compassionate and understanding to others. I will be honest to others and myself and learn to trust others and myself. I will listen to my passions and not fear failure or criticism. I will keep an open mind and welcome new ideas, cultures, and people. I will always strive to do my best and work diligently. I realize that progress takes time and I will be patient with myself. I will remember that to serve others is more satisfying than serving myself and support those around me. I am grateful for my life.

Who Am I

My family, friends, and school have shaped my identity over the years. Being the middle child of my eclectic family has helped define who I am today. Being the middle child, I have taken a very specific role within my family. I am often the family member my siblings go to when they need advice. I always leave my door open to them and as a result, I am a good listener. As the middle child I am also generally the sibling who settles the disputes between my other siblings. Each member of my family has a distinct personality and I have learned from each member. My dad is hard working and has taught me to study diligently and always do my best. My mother sets rules for me and has taught me responsibility. My older sister has taught me to be independent. My older brother has taught me to be kind to everyone and my younger sister's creativity has helped me learn to think outside the box.

My friends have also helped me shape who I am. All my friends are incredibly supportive of what I do from coming to my Acadram shows to wishing me happy birthday. Their support has taught me to be just as good friend to them as they are to me. My friends and I are always there for one another whether someone is facing a challenge or celebrating.

Going to the Mount has also shaped my identity. An all girls education has helped me learn to think for myself and to express my ideas. The Mount has taught me not to be afraid of speaking my mind or standing up for my beliefs. The Mount has challenged me and supported me. I have learned important values such as responsibility and honesty. Here I have wonderful memories that I will carry with me throughout my life.

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